I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Randomize
