garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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