the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
4 words: hood of his car
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
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