Im at strip club and am horny
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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