Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
Tell her she can't have a vagina
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
