At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
