Me too!
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
