their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
