we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
