My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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