Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Randomize
