I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
me + whiskey = a bad person
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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