I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
