Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
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