My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
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