So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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