i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
