guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize
