I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
