it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
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