I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
