I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
