watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Hippo gnu deer
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Randomize
