I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
And my parents said I crawled through the house
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
