I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Randomize