just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
