4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Randomize
