whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
