The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
