We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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