I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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