And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
