My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I deserve this hangover.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
