tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
