I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I just found puke in my bra..
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
