I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
