lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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