I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
He passed out mid-signature
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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