just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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