Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
