Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
I have peed in a lot of sinks
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
