She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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