Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
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