U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
It was confusing and full of hummus
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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