I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
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