I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
