Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Randomize
