I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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