So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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