Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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