Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
