I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
