dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Randomize