fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
