Already got asked if we're dating
i would punch a child for taco bell
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
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